In the last article, I used the imagery of the body as a garment within which lay the spirit. Here I would like to share with you a verse I wrote a long time ago and that appears in my book that likens our spirituality to rays of light that we too often shut away. And having done so, it continually strains for release.
The Light Inside You
For only a few fleeting moments
Have I felt the warm light of you—
Of what is inside of you.
Those moments were like rays of light
Peeking through the cracks of a door
In a dark room.
I am in the darkness alone,
Longing to know
What lies on the other side of the door.
Yearning to feel the touch
Of the warm and beautiful
Light that lies there.
But the door is locked,
The key to its opening
Unknown to me.
I will wait—
Yes, wait patiently
For the next beam of light
To spill through the cracks.
Longing to know
The wonderful light
That shines inside of you.
Copyright 1969, 2012 by Blair Atherton
Please take a moment to get in touch with any feelings that this verse may have elicited. It always brings forth in me feelings of longing to fully express my spirit.
It is my belief that no matter who you are, what kind of a person you are, or what kind of life you live, there have been moments when your spirit was able to squeeze through the cracks in the walls you may have built around yourself. The fortresses we build to protect ourselves are always flawed and conquerable from within and without.
Our spirit-selves, that some of us try to hold captive in the darkness of our fears, doubt, and insecurities, yearn—no demand expression. The amount of energy required to restrain its expression is enormous. It is like trying to hold your breath until you pass out; you cannot do it. Similarly, no matter how hard you try to cling to the material world and deny your spirituality, your spirit will always seek to show you the path of goodness and a better way to live.
If you accept the notion that your spirit is what gives you life and your spirit-self is the real you, then you can see that your spirit must be allowed to express itself. Otherwise are you really alive?
I believe that we are all spiritual beings. We, and those around us, look for evidence of this in us and in themselves. They are searching for the warm and beautiful light emanating from others and hope to find within themselves. Perhaps we do not realize that all we have to do is open the door, even if only a crack at first.
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Hi Blair, I was wondering how I could possibly attain your level of belief, as I would surely love to…
You write beautifully by the way.
The way you described the relationship with your wife had me in tears..
Mark, I wish I had a concrete formula for you and others to find the closeness with spirit that you desire. Like you, I want to get closer too. It is a lifelong process that everyone must go through and each in their own way, and at their own speed.
You have made a very important first step which is to express the desire to find a way to live the life of spirit. A next step is to seek God’s help and have faith that you will get there. Be patient, yet determined to fully embrace your spirit-self.
It takes conscious effort to get here. But do not try to force it. It must come naturally. Focus on the goal rather than the process and you will be led to where your spirit resides.
I absolutely love this. I love the poetic imagery, as well as the descriptive prose. I just love this entire post! I agree very much that humans engage in an internal battle, a world of cognitive dissonance, until they truly find and secure that acceptance. The moments of awareness-to-awakening are exciting and precious.
I also agree that we search for validation (or just belonging) of our process externally among our peers. (Tangentially speaking ->) Relationships are mirrors. A large part of their purpose is to reflect You (be that Self or Soul… whichever energy vessel you are feeding.) Like attracts like. We yearn to find and associate with those who appear most like ourselves, or who we WANT to be or WISH we were. In this way, relationships are such a gift! They can help you find your way out of that dark room! So much inward growth can spawn just from introspection regarding that which we “see” in others (and I am NOT referring to the “compare game”). Quick examples: A father-less girl looking for love in all the wrong places (she doesn’t want the boyfriends, she wants a father figure), or a husband’s wandering eye seeing a happy/appealing woman (he doesn’t want the woman/affair, he wants to feel happy and appealing again).
There is a quote that I love which sums up (more eloquently) what I’m trying to say: “What you give is what you get. What you reject is what you acquire. What you judge is what you become. What you fear is what you attract. What you know is what exists, and what exists is what you have.”
I hope my tangential post makes sense, because my mind moves much quicker than my fingers!! Also, I hope I do not sound patronizing, as I’m just working through my own ignorance and learning out loud! Thank you for allowing me this time and place to process!